Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Being the Wife that He Needs

At church last Sunday, there was a special message for Mother's Day on Titus 2:5-7. It was very encouraging and inspiring. One thing that stood out to me was a prayer that my pastor said that his wife would pray every day: "Lord, help me to be the wife that {my husband} needs." Now, I have heard of praying that before, but never did it strike me quite how it did this time.

As I mentioned in "Perfectionism," I have a tendency to get really discouraged when dishes are piling up, the majority of the laundry is dirty, and meals are not done on time. Currently, however, I cannot help the fact that the house is not always clean. Working several jobs, volunteering at church, hosting and attending Bible studies, plus hanging out with family and trying to invest time in my relationship with my husband leaves me very short on time. While I would like to have the time to keep the house clean and have super-fantastic meals all the time, I simply cannot do so with my life being as hectic as it currently is. And this has left me pretty stressed and frustrated. Because in my mind, nice house and tasty food equals good wife. Messy house and mediocre food equals failure. But that prayer, "Lord, help me to be the wife that my husband needs," has caused me to re-evaluate.

Yes, I want the house to be clean, and yes, I would like to be able to make delicious meals for my husband and I. And yes, my husband would appreciate both of those things as well. However, to my husband, a clean house and exceptionally amazing food are not at the top of his list of what makes a good wife. In fact, even when the house is messy and dinner did not get done on time, he tells me what a blessing I am, and that I am a great wife.

Actually, my husband refused to tell me what he thought made a good wife, other than "Maurie Roselaine," and would not tell me what I do that makes him feel loved. Nevertheless, I did manage to get him to tell me what I do that he appreciates. Here is what he metioned: Help, Support, and Respect. He did not metion a clean house or dinner on the table a 6:00pm every evening.

Therefore, instead of stressing out because I am such a failure of a wife, I need to pray that God helps me to be the wife that my husband needs, and not worry so much about the things that he is not concerned about. That is not to say that I should not clean the house or cook food, but if those are things that are not a big deal to my husband, I should place less emphasis on those things and more emphasis on the things that he thinks are important.

"Lord, help me to be the wife that my husband needs, and the woman you have called me to be."


  1. That's kind of cool though that he didn't give u a long list of what he thought a good wife should be.

    Sarah from Chick Clique

  2. That's a great thought and prayer, Maurie. It's one we should all take to heart because, very often, what our spouse's want is more of "us" and less of our "clean house." :) I know if my husband is kind, respectful and loving to me, I can overlook a lot of things he doesn't do right or neglects to do. Thanks for this convicting and insightful reminder of what's most important, my friend. And thanks for linking up with Wedded Wed. I missed you last week! :)

  3. First of all, it is a blessing to have someone who does not have a long list of needs.

    Wow. To be the kind of wife my husband needs and to be who God called me to be is what I need to add to my daily prayers. Thank you.

    1. Makasha, thanks for your response! I am learning that it is my attitude that is important to my husband, not so much the actions :) You are welcome, I pray that God blesses you and your marriage!